5 Things You Should Know About Perfection
Below are some really beautiful lessons on imperfection that I learned from the book The Gifts of Imperfection, one of the best books I have read in a while which speaks about how you can live your life whole-heartedly.
1. Perfectionism never happens in a vacuum.
Perfectionism never happens in a vacuum. It touches everyone around us. We pass it down to our children, we infect our workplace with impossible expectations, and it’s suffocating for our friends and families.
2. Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best.
Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfectly, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield.
Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.
3. Perfectionism is not self-improvement.
Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance. Most perfectionists were raised being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule-following, people-pleasing, appearance, sports).
Somewhere along the way, we adopt this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect.
Healthy striving is self-focused — How can I improve? Perfectionism isother-focused — What will they think?
4. Perfectionism is a self-destructive
Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.
Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal.
Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception — we want to be perceived as perfect. Again, this is unattainable — there is no way to control perception, regardless of how much time and energy we spend trying.
5. Perfectionism is addictive
Perfectionism is addictive because when we invariably do experience shame, judgment, and blame, we often believe it’s because we weren’tperfect enough.
So rather than questioning the faulty logic ofperfectionism, we become even more entrenched in our quest to live, look, and do everything just right.
Thank you for patiently reading this, I hope this helps you in changing your mindset about perfection.
